Health / Mental well-being

4 Tips to Build Your Resilience 

Illustration of woman with flowing hair

When we have the ability to bounce back from challenges in our lives, that's called resilience. Think of it like a tree in the wind. It bends but returns to its normal position. 

At BCBSRI, we think of resilience as having four elements:

  • Perspective
  • Connection
  • Sense of purpose
  • Gratitude

Here are four tips to help you build your resilience. Remember, these are practices, like playing a piano. Give yourself the gift not only of learning but of taking the time to practice. 

1. Change your perspective.

We can’t always control the things that happen to us. But we can control how we react to them. Being resilient means we’re able to embrace healthy, positive thoughts, and that mindset can help us through tough times.

Try this
Think about a difficult experience you’re facing and how you feel about it. Now try using your name, as though you’re talking about someone else. For example, ask yourself, “Why does Jane feel this way? What are the underlying reasons for her feelings?” Spend three minutes reflecting, writing down your thoughts if you’d like. It feels odd to write about yourself this way, but it can help you confront difficult feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them.

2. Connect with people.

Our lives revolve around connections, and they are an important part of resilience, helping us to better handle the challenges we face through our lives. Remember that you don’t have to face your challenges all alone.

Try this
Create a bucket list of social activities you’d like to do. Are there old friends you want to reconnect with? Is there a group you have been meaning to join? Keep your list someplace you will see it and act on it. Each time you look at it, think about how each of those actions helps you build connections. Even virtual connections are important.

3. Find your purpose.

Having a sense of purpose makes it easier to bounce back from challenges by providing perspective, stability, confidence, and determination. It’s much harder to be defeated by challenges in your life when you are passionate about what you’re doing. And you just might find a sense of purpose if you step back and look at the impact you already have on other people.

Try this
Ask yourself these questions to get you moving toward your own sense of purpose:

  • What do other people say you're good at?
  • If you had all the money in the world, how would you spend your time?
  • What things would you do even if you didn't get paid for them?

4. Practice gratitude.

Being grateful doesn’t erase whatever pain we’re feeling or the struggles we’re experiencing. Instead, it helps us appreciate what is good in our lives—even while acknowledging that bad things happen. 

Try this
Start a gratitude journal. Some people set aside a specific time each day to write down what they are grateful for. Others write one item each day or keep a running list they add to whenever something makes them feel grateful. By actively writing these down, you are consciously choosing to focus on the good. That can help to reframe your perspective and give you the energy to keep pushing forward … in other words, to become more resilient.

Use These Resilience Resources

Your BCBSRI benefits
If you need help coping with stress, speak with your primary care provider, see treatment options, or download the BCBSRI Drs. Online1 app on the App Store or Google Play2 or visit and schedule an appointment with a therapist. 

Free classes at Your Blue Store
BCBSRI members can try free in-person yoga, meditation, and other classes at Your Blue StoreSM locations in Cranston, East Providence, Lincoln, Narragansett, and Warwick. Sign up for a class at All fitness levels are welcome. You can also visit the BCBSRI Facebook page to find videos of the classes that you can do at home.3

Your BCBSRI membership includes discounts on dozens of health and well-being tools, including meditation and mindfulness classes, through Blue365.4 See the savings at

1In the case of an emergency, you should always call 911. Doctors Online is not intended to replace these services and should not be used in those circumstances. Doctors Online is a telemedicine service provided by American Well®, an independent company that administers Doctors Online on behalf of BCBSRI. 

2Apple and the Apple logo are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the U.S. and other countries. App Store is a service mark of Apple Inc. Google Play is a trademark of Google Inc. Virgin Pulse is an independent wellness company, contracted by BCBSRI to provide wellness services.

3Not all exercises are suitable for everyone and any exercise program could result in injury. Always consult with your physician before beginning an exercise program, especially if you have an existing health condition.

4©2000-2023 Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association—All Rights Reserved. The Blue365 program is made available by BCBSRI in conjunction with the Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association. The Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association is an association of independent, locally operated Blue Cross and Blue Shield Plans.

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